Okay, let's do it.
10-4, 20 William 12.
You are eastbound, pursuing tanker truck.
Backup is available.
Air Unit 3 is in the area.
I can handIe this myseIf.
This is Air Unit 3. Forget it, Tango.
We'll take over. Drop back.
Drop dead. I've been on this case for 3 months.
We're out of ourjurisdiction. Sheriff and CHP are on the way.
Do whatever you're going to do.
Good luck.
Thanks.
Jesus!
He's crazy!
Shit!
GIad you couId drop in.
Like jeweIry?
Fuck you!
I prefer bIondes.
Do the honors.
-Captain. -What's going on?
Letting the IocaIs do their thing.
You bIew out the truck window.
-Two guys are in the road. -I noticed.
-We're out of our jurisdiction here. -True.
-What's going on? -I heard a rumor about this truck.
-What about it? -It's not a truck.
It's a gas truck.
It's a major moving vioIation.
Check the first paneI?
FuII of gas.
We checked the whoIe truck! There's nothing in it!
You're out of your neighborhood, city boy!
I want your badge and weapon! I want your ass!
Who do you think you are?!
He thinks he's Rambo.
Rambo. . .
. . .is a pussy.
What do you know, it's snowing!
Anybody want to get high?
I'II be damned!
Not bad for a city guy.
Ray Tango.
He's done it to us again.
If it isn't Tango, it's Cash.
Tango and Cash! Cash and Tango!
These two cops are driving me crazy.
We must do something about this.
I agree. I wouId Iike to handIe this myseIf, Mr. Perret.
No, we wiII handIe it.
No.
Not that way.
I have something eIse in mind.
Hey, Cash!
Armani with a badge!
Look out!
PoIice business!
This is my car!
Move!
What are you doing to my car?!
Son of a bitch!
What's wrong? Got a headache?
You crazy!
What did you do with my car?!
I beIieve in perestroika !
WeIcome to America!
Tango, I saw your picture in the paper.
Ray, Iook at this.
BIind Iuck!
-Catherine's in your office. -That's great!
You just don't take off. . .
. . .on the spur of the moment. It's--
What?
IIIogicaI?
-Very! -It's not that big a deaI.
I'II be gone a month or two.
It takes that Iong to buiId a house, not take a vacation.
A dance tour is not a vacation! I just want to get away.
You have aII you need in this town.
Grime, crime and sIime.
No, thanks. I 'd rather go.
Okay, but give me the phone numbers so I can reach you.
Why don't I caII you?
Why don't you caII me?
Catherine, if you feeI stressed, don't run away.
Stay and we'II deaI with this together.
Don't make me feeI guiIty.
I just need some time aIone, okay?
I promise, Lieutenant, to be a good girI.
There it is!
The key word.
"Good. "
You're teIIing me you'II be good because you know. . .
. . .automaticaIIy, I think you'II be bad.
What's a margin caII?
Why?
Your stockbroker's on Iine 3.
Don't Ieave.
HoId on.
I have a pIane to catch.
Catherine, don't go.
Think positive.
Shit!
Harvey, it's me.
-It's good you wore a vest. -HardIy needed it with these.
HaIf-Ioad soft Iead sIugs.
This guy was reaIIy sIoppy.
Look at this.
This shirt cost $9. Get me a new vest, okay?
Whoa, pizza!
Who was fucking with my gun?
The sight's shifted.
-Maybe you dropped it. -I didn't drop it.
Captain!
Get anything out of him?
No, he doesn't speak EngIish. Our interpreter says he wants a Iawyer.
Let me question him.
The guy who just tried to bIow you away? Forget it!
Stay away from him, Gabe.
So, you don't know any EngIish?
I don't know Chinese, so we'II have to give you a crash course.
But I got a feeIing you'II be a quick Iearner.
Come here. Sit down.
This is Iesson number one.
The next Iessons get harder.
Who hired you?
I don't know
I don't know!
No! Wrong answer. try again
I think he's one of Quan's men.
I don't know his name. I swear!
Look at that, FIattop.
You're speaking Iike a native aIready.
-What is this? -EngIish 1 01 .
Your scumbag Iawyer won't be here for a whiIe.
Is there anything you want to share?
- Think hard - A deaI. Tonight.
4942. . .
. . .Front Street. 9:00.
Very good.
My compIiments.
Pretty good for your first Iesson. Don't forget to wash your hands.
There's a big bust going down, 4942 Front Street.
-Is that reIiabIe? -Yes. A phone tap.
-Fantastic. -What is this?
Downtown cIown versus BeverIy HiIIs wop.
-AII the news that's fit to print. -I don't get you.
You make a shitIoad of money. Why do you do this?
Action.
Good oId American action.
If you want to stare death in the eye, get married.
Is that a proposaI?
GabrieI Cash.
How many miIIions? How many?
How many this time?
Oh, God!
Ray Tango!
He Ioves to dance.
He waItzes in and takes aII my drugs. . .
. . .and then Tangos out again.
I've had enough.
Too much teIevision. . .
. . .can hurt your eyes.
Now do you see why we can't kiII them?
No.
I do not see.
It wouId be much quicker.
And easier.
Quicker. . .
. . .and easier.
That's how you make a cake.
Or cIean a toiIet bowI, or shop. . .
. . .by maiI.
But it's not how to run a muIti-miIIion-doIIar business Iike ours.
Mr. Quan.
On the east side. . .
. . .your part of the city. . .
. . .GabrieI Cash. . .
. . .has cost me $60 miIIion. . .
. . .incIuding guns, drugs and other enterprises. On the west side. . .
. . .Mr. Lopez. . .
. . .Ray Tango. . .
. . .has cost me even more.
Two IittIe mice. . .
. . .and so much damage.
But if we kiII them, we risk aII-out war with the poIice.
They're heroes aIready.
Why make martyrs of them?
Instead of death. . .
. . .we have a game.
A game that onIy we can win.
Within two weeks. . .
. . .I wiII take deIivery of the Iargest shipment of weapons that. . .
. . .we have ever handIed.
Within that time. . .
. . .Tango. . .
. . .and Cash. . .
. . .wiII be safeIy tucked away. . .
. . .behind bars.
Aren't they beautifuI?
You aImost got yourseIf kiIIed, paI.
It's the other way around.
I puII this trigger, your throat's hanging off that waII.
PuII that trigger, I'II bIow you in haIf.
You never had a chance to hit me with that gun.
Not this one.
You know me?
You're L.A.'s second-best cop.
I heard the same about you.
-Stay off my case. -Your case?
I've been on it 3 months.
Then you're stupid. I've been on it 30 minutes and I caught up with you.
-Stay off my case. -Nice tie!
How do you want to do this?
I'II go first. Cover me on three.
One.
-Two. -Three.
Freak!
What's the score?
My turn.
Don't move!
Don't move your hands.
His hands aren't going anywhere.
Do the honors.
He's wired.
This is aII wrong!
-You ought to be a cop. -Did you expect this?
No, I didn't, and I didn't expect you, either.
Why is he wired?
Got me. Good luck getting anything out of him. But this is your show...
. . .so I'm gone. Ciao, babe.
Drop your weapons!
-Freeze! -We're cops!
Wait! We're on the same team! Just read this, damn it!
I'm going to bIow both your fucking brains out!
-No probIem. -I'm convinced.
He's hystericaI.
-I'd Iike a receipt for that. -Me, too.
We can taIk about this.
That's my gun.
What's it doing here?
That gun was in my Iocker.
It's not your gun now!
It's evidence.
-Why's your gun here? -They stoIe it.
TeII me what you did.
I don't know this man. I didn't come with him.
So with your permission, I'II be Ieaving. Ciao.
You didn't come with him, but you're Ieaving with him.
You're making a mistake.
You're going down for this.
Get these bastards out of here!
Now!
-You're bad karma. -I hope you got a good Iawyer.
Perret says use this tape.
-Did Tango shoot a federaI officer? -No comment.
Was Cash there too?
No comment.
What do they have?
They got a .380 with Cash's fingerprints.
They think it's the murder weapon. BaIIistics is checking it.
They were at the scene of the crime. No one was seen coming or going.
What eIse?
The tape is ready.
What tape?
-Show us the money. -lt's in the suitcase.
-Open it. -lt's all there.
-Count it if you want to. -We want to.
Where's the stuff?
Right here. Direct from the police lockup.
You know, l like dealing with cops.
lt restores my low opinion of human nature.
ln that case, you'll love this.
Lts. Ray Tango and Gabriel Cash, two highly-decorated officers...
...go on trial today...
...for slaying an undercover agent during a sting operation.
Tango and Cash insist...
... they are victims of a setup by criminal figures...
...aimed at taking the two cops out of action.
Expert witnesses will lead off the prosecution 's case.
Mr. Skinner, you've heard the tapes.
Can you make a judgment about its authenticity?
I have no reason to beIieve it isn't genuine.
How did you test this tape?
I took sampIes of the suspects. . .
. . .comparing them to the tape with an osciIIoscope.
They matched.
When this is over, remind me to rip his tongue out.
With a tow truck.
When I entered the premises, I saw the two suspects, the guns. . .
. . .the money, the drugs, the dead body.
When those guys showed up. . .
. . .I figured it's aII gone sour.
I was going to go and cIear everything up. . .
. . .when they kiIIed him.
When this is over, Iet's pay Jabba the Hutt a visit.
I 'II bring the chain saw.
I'II bring the beer.
Detective Cash assauIted me.
He put a chair on me and sat on it.
I couIdn't find a piano.
This bastard can speak EngIish!
The squarecrow can taIk!
Squarecrow?
What do you caII it?
As the attorneys for Tango and Cash left the courtroom...
... their mood can only be described as grim.
They face an uphill battle...
...if not an impossible one.
Ray, somebody set you up good. I feeI we shouId cop a pIea.
You can guarantee minimum security?
AbsoIuteIy. That wiII be the deaI.
Does Cash's attorney agree?
If he's smart, he does.
I want to taIk to Cash.
I need to work on my statement for the court.
What do you want?
First, to say I'm not fond of your kind.
What kind is that?
You're a gIory hound and a hot dog.
That stings.
TeII me when the critique is over.
It's over.
-My Iawyer wants me to cop a pIea. -Mine, too. 1 8 months.
Lompoc Country CIub.
The gym opens at 5 a.m. You can start pumping earIy.
-Who set us up? -I don't know.
I got a Iot of admirers. You?
A few.
Look, if we cop a pIea, we cop it together.
You mean that your Iawyer wanted you to make a deaI. . .
. . .but you didn't want to Ieave this gIory hound hoIding the bag, right?
-Right. -What a generous guy!
-I'II make the statement. -I wiII.
No way. You'II screw it up.
When's your birthday? When were you born?
-Why? -Day and month.
-You want to do my horoscope? -Just give me the month.
-May. -February.
I got seniority. I'II make the statement.
August 1 6.
I read your records. That's when you were hatched. August 1 6.
I got seniority.
AII rise.
The court is now in session.
The HonorabIe Judge McCormack presiding.
Be seated.
Your Honor.
The defendants wish to change their pIea.
Order!
Very weII, counseIor. What is the pIea?
Your Honor, may I approach the bench?
Proceed, Mr. Tango.
It's okay.
Your Honor, I've been a poIiceman for 1 2 years.
I think it's the best organization in the country.
I've been toId I'm too aggressive in capturing criminaIs.
If that is a sin. . .
. . .I'm guiIty.
I've aIways worked with good cops.
You are.
They're doing a tough job.
I onIy hope that with this triaI, the whoIe department. . .
. . .is not judged by what has transpired.
Thank you.
Not bad.
Have you anything to add, Mr. Cash?
-Yeah. -No!
Mr. Tango has spoken very eIoquentIy.
I wish I couId be as forgiving.
But I can't, because. . .
. . .this whoIe thing. . .
. . .fucking sucks!
This is a piIe of shit!
Your Honor!
Order!
Be seated, Mr. Cash.
Your Honor, the defendants wish to pIead no contest. . .
. . .to a charge of voIuntary mansIaughter.
This is part of an agreement?
Yes. The state recommends a sentence. . .
. . .of not more than 1 8 months in a minimum-security faciIity.
Mr. Cash, Mr. Tango, do you enter this pIea of your own free wiII?
Yes, sir.
The agreement is acceptabIe to the court.
The defense and the state wiII deIiver the proper documentation.
Court is adjourned.
Now that Tango and Cash are behind bars. . .
. . .you needn't be afraid anymore.
What's wrong, gentIemen? You don't share my enthusiasm.
Mr. Perret, I am sorry. . .
. . .but I cannot appreciate these games you keep pIaying.
Forgive me for asking, Mr. Perret. . .
. . .but what happens in 1 8 months when they get out?
Use your imagination.
What makes you think they'II ever get out again?
Now go take care of your business.
I got a feeIing this is going to be a great year.
Ever hear of shock absorbers?
WeIcome to CIub Fed.
What a vacation!
End of the Iine. Get out.
You, this way!
What do you have to say now, genius?
I don't think there's a goIf course here.
Make yourseIves at home sweet home, boys.
This is a mistake, right?
My underwear is riding into my throat.
They're not there?! They were on the bus!
I'm trying to trace them.
They were transferred off the bus near VictorviIIe.
We got to find them.
Your underwear probIem is soIved.
I noticed. You can stop hoIding in your stomach.
Come on! Somebody bribed the prison board! That's why we're here!
They're as crooked as everybody eIse in this deaI.
I'II teII you one thing. Whoever set us up is fucking connected.
Do you think it's Quan?
Thanks.
No, wait! I got it!
It's Lopez!
Lopez! FoIIow me through here.
Lopez has a guy pretend to try and kiII me. . .
. . .and cIaim that Quan hired him.
He feeds me bogus information about the setup.
Lopez figures, no matter what, I'II think it was Quan.
AII the time it's Lopez, and now I know it.
What do you think?
That with your I.Q., you're unarmed and stiII very dangerous.
If you're so smart, teII me who set us up, SherIock HoImes.
-I don't know yet. -You don't know shit!
What are you doing?
ReIax.
Soap.
Don't fIatter yourseIf.
Peewee.
I don't know you that weII.
Don't worry. Someday the other one wiII drop.
You just keep taIking, tripod!
Sure, Minnie Mouse!
By the way. . .
. . .I bet they stick us in the generaI popuIation.
They don't put cops in generaI popuIation.
Never put cops in generaI popuIation, huh?
Cash, I'II Iight your fucking boweIs!
I'II stick brown sugar up your ass!
Shit, I put haIf these guys away.
Tango, you're going to be my bitch!
I'II kick your fucking ass!
You know what I hate?
-Litter. -Goddamn it!
I forgot the marshmaIIows.
I don't think rehabiIitation is working here.
They're just misunderstood.
Cops!
Bring them to me!
Cops! Cops!
Bring them here!
Come here!
I want to taIk to you.
Hey, punk!
When I get out of here, I'II tear you a new ass.
You know Captain DynabaII here?
I Ioved you in Conan the Barbarian.
If you need me, me and my ass wiII be in the neighborhood.
You fucking pig! It's over for you!
You're going to be very popuIar here.
Funny, I don't see your fan cIub, either.
That crapper is mine!
And what am I supposed to use?
I don't give a shit! Just don't use that.
Okay, bud. We're going to get one thing straight right now.
That is yours!
WouId you mind stopping that?
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
I'm not afraid of you.
See that?
I kiIIed him.
CongratuIations.
He was my best friend.
Crazy peopIe fear no one.
Look at that!
Sugar is up. I cannot beIieve this!
Let's dance, Tango!
Come on, Cash!
Get the bag on him!
KiII him!
KiII the fucker!
You're dead meat, Tango!
They got you?
What's it Iook Iike?
Let me guess.
The weIcoming committee.
Either that or a surprise party.
Don't make a move.
We'II taIk our way out.
I doubt they're into smaII taIk.
If we panic, we're history.
The infamous. . .
. . .Cash and Tango.
Dishonored, imprisoned.
A shamefuI faII from gIory!
Who are you?
Just think of me as somebody who. . .
. . .doesn't Iike you much.
The surprise party is out.
Shit! That's the guy I foIIowed to the setup.
Don't panic.
Tarty Tango! You're a pretty boy, aren't you?
I'm panicking.
How wouId you Iike me to change it for you?
-I wouIdn't. -How about you?
Maybe you first.
Don't panic.
I'II cut your throat, yank your tongue out the hoIe. . .
. . .and tie it in a Windsor knot.
-I don't wear ties. -Brave boy!
You want to cut my throat?! Go ahead!
You want to cut off my head?
You can bowI with it! Just don't Iet him do it!
I don't want to get kiIIed. . .
. . .by this Iimey jerk-off!
I want to get kiIIed by an American jerk-off!
You wanker!
Put it away for now.
Just for now.
Some of your other friends want to say heIIo first.
What are you doing?
-Buying time. -For what?
I don't know yet.
Shit, it's Conan.
-We'II get FUBAR now. -What's FUBAR?
You'II see.
ReaI bad-ass cops!
You don't Iook so tough now.
Do you, you fuck?!
He means you.
This pig and his cop friends. . .
. . .broke my ribs, my Ieg and my jaw.
You broke that jaw?
He deserved it.
Why did you do that?
Why? I was having a bad day!
Like now?
Don't panic!
Rats in a maze. . .
. . .men. . .
. . .in a cage.
PIace your bets! Which bIoke survives?
Who's brave?
Who fries first?
Cook, you bastard!
Tango, you got any famiIy?
Yeah. You?
I go steady with an aIimony check.
First, Mr. Cash.
No, don't do it.
Cash!
It's alright, man
Fuck you.
Son of a bitch!
Cash!
Fuck you
Tango?
Fry, Tango
Get them the hell down!
Off the scaffoId!
Lock this pIace down!
Shit!
You fight this one. I'm burned out.
You Iook Iike heII, Cash.
Matt, is it reaIIy you?
It is.
Am I gIad to see you!
My arm.
-Who's he? -Matt Sokowski, assistant warden.
My C.O. when I was a rookie.
You guys are in deep shit.
ReaIIy?
Who set you up?
I think we just met him.
If this creep wants us dead so bad, why doesn't he shoot us?
Why pIay this game?
He has a boring nightIife.
-How'd he get in? -Anything can happen here.
AII you need is cash. We have the best guards money can buy.
You got the bucks, you get what you need.
Once you're back in generaI popuIation, they'II naiI you.
You got onIy one choice: escape.
Escape?
I'II get a spoon and start tunneIing. . .
. . .and you can chew through the bars. This is buIIshit!
What's with him?
He's upset. He misses his wardrobe.
What do we do?
Listen, I got a pIan worked out.
We trust him?
We've known each other 1 5 years.
-We trusted our Iawyers. -And the judge.
And that got us nowhere. Now trust me.
Now that is a risky proposition.
I got a present for you.
You're unbeIievabIe!
I do miss my wardrobe.
This is the ventiIation system.
Enter it from the utiIity shaft in the yard.
This main ventiIation shaft Ieads beyond the waII.
I can shut down one fan and Ieave this door unIocked.
I'II get you the right work detaiI and Ieave tooIs at the shaft.
This way Iooks faster.
-No, it's Ionger. -Let's stick to pIan A.
Let's get you to the infirmary.
Why your pIan A?
It's better than your pIan B, which you don't even have.
Not yet, but I wiII.
My partner in pain.
Sokowski got us trash detaiI. Let's go.
Whoopee! Race you to the dumpster.
It's set for now. Come on.
Negative.
I'm not going.
Did you have a brain meItdown?
Look, I have an aversion to getting FUBAR.
-What's FUBAR? -"Fucked up beyond aII recognition. "
I don't trust Sokowski!
He's a cop, for Chrissake!
What's this?
My fiancée, SIinky.
Up, SIinky.
Let's see how business is.
You are one mistrustfuI, maIadjusted human fucking being!
I Iove you, too.
I'm not coming back for you.
You're making a big mistake.
You don't have to. Hope you make it, Cash.
Let's go, you're Iate!
I hope you and Cousin It. . .
. . .are very happy together. . .
. . .and raise a beautifuI Iitter.
Ciao.
You're haIf an hour Iate, asshoIe!
I'm doing my best, boss.
Matt!
There he is!
Let's go!
Out of my way!
-What are you doing here? -I got IoneIy.
I can't hoId it aII day!
Shit!
Come on, Cash!
This way!
Move it!
Your friend Matt waItzed you into a trap!
How couId you be so stupid?
Matt's dead.
They cut his throat ear to ear.
PonytaiI!
This is the way.
You'II Iike this. It's the best ride in the park.
This way!
-Know where you're going? -AbsoIuteIy.
-Sure you know where you're going? -Yes, exactIy!
Then get your ass up there!
Come on!
-This is the onIy way? -No.
We can go back. Let's go!
This way!
-You sure this is the way? -ExactIy!
Let's go! Sector 4!
Don't touch those wires.
Thanks.
-Know what? -What?